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haaayyy...
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
haaayyy... valentines day is just passing by like an ordinary day... an occasion so special but celebrated in a simple way...

honestly, i didn't feel it coming... i even don't feel it's presence... it's not because i don't have a boyfriend or a date but... i don't know?? maybe because people are too busy with what they're doing that they forget another special event like this...

haayy... i just felt sad... this person isn't just the same as before.... he seemed so far away... far from me... i feel that he's not the person i used to know and hang out with... i can't say if he has changed or not.... but everyday,, as days go by,, i can feel that he's not a friend to me... he's not with me,, hangs out with someone else..... and the way he talks and talked to me... I'm getting hurt... i don't know know what to feel... i don't know what to say and how to react... i just don't take everything seriously and just laugh with him....make it to a point that he wouldn't notice the hurt that i feel... the hurt that i feel from his words and from his actions...

honestly, i don't have a crush on him.... and i even don't love him... it's just that i want to be close to him like before... before he acted to me like now... but somehow i still want the way he approaches me... but not all... maybe... I'm just expecting too much from him... something that i expected from him... a kind of approach that i would like... this is the first time that i have encountered something like this... back in high school... i didn't experience anything like this... like what his doing... i felt that in high school i am being respected... treated me like their ate or real Lola... but now, in college... everything has changed...

sometimes, i even don't like the way she talks to me... the way she says her words... her actions.... i just don't like it... sometimes.... (this is another person...)

maybe i just got overwhelmed to see lots of people... different people... people i didn't know that will treat me like this... people who would approach me differently... maybe i was not prepared for this kind of scenario... for this kind of life... maybe because i didn't know that all of these would happen... that i would encounter and experience all of these things...

i have to admit... because of college life, i became more sensitive to things... especially on words being said to me... but i am not against them... honestly!! actually, i am also happy with my college life....!! but not like in highschool...

i miss my friends...!!! i want to be with them again!! i miss my highschool life!!!

i think all that i can do to what i am feeling right now and even before... is to go with the flow of happenings.... of life... and to wear a mask... a mask that will hide everything that i don't want others to see... a mask that would not notice my true feelings in order to avoid any conflicts.... so that i would not hear their sarcastic words or comments...painful words....discriminating statements.... mga salitang binibitawan nila... mga salitang hindi nila alam ay nakakasakit pla...

~~~~ AKALA NYO KASI PURO LANG AKO TAWA... MALI KAYO.... MARUNONG DIN AKONG MASAKTAN AT MAGALIT...
SANA LANG MAPANSIN NYO UN.... LALO NA KAYO.... (i wouldn't give names)
HINDI LAHAT NG BIRO NAKAKATUWA... MADALAS, NAKAKASAKIT PA KAYO... KAYA WAG NA KYONG MAGTAKA KUNG BKIT MINSAN GANUN AKO MAKITUNGO SA INYO... PINAPARAMDAM KO LANG SA INYO ANG TUNAY KONG NARARAMDAMAN... PINAPA REALIZE KO SA INYO NA MALI ANG GINAGAWA NYO AT HINDI NA KAYO NAKAKATUWA... KUNDI, NAKAKASAKIT NA... SANA LANG MA-REALIZE NYO UN...~~~~

PS:
well.. i guess it's true... nothing is permament in this world... everything change.... the problem is, they changed not for good but for worse... and;
things happened in the past can't be given back to you.....
MEMOIRS OF LOVE ♥ 11:40 PM