well... here i am again... alive and nothing has changed..!! still bothered with so many things!!!
when will i ever be back to normal??!!!
i don't know what to do??!!! sometimes, i thought of hurting myself... but i just can't do it..!!! im afaid to get hurt!!! i'm afraid of blood!!! damn!!!
when will i get over this feeling!! it's ruining my life!!! i'm not exaggerating everything!!! but this is what i feel right now...!!! for the past few days...!!!!
i'm having a headache!!!
kaya lng naman ako nagkakaganito dahil sa studies ko eh...!!! bkit ako naging bobo ngaun...!!! ngaun pang college!!!???
bkit hindi ako makapagseryoso???!!! buti pa ung iba...!!! they can enjoy life but at the same time serious with their studies...!!!
bakit ba hindi ko magawa ung ganun???!!!
bakit nung highschool ako okay lng naman ang grades ko?? i was able to manage to have good grades... !!! and at that time i had a boyfriend!! eh bakit ngayon??!! ala n nga akong boyfriend bkit parang ayaw kong magseryoso sa pag-aaral??!!
but i know and i'm sure that boys are not my hindrances in getting good grades!!! sa katunayan nga mas masaya ako nagyong single ako!! alang pinoproblema!!! i'm free!!! nagagawa ko gusto ko!! and besides, if ever i'm going to have someone in my life, i'll make it sure that the person is not a burden in my studies!! and definitely not a bad influence and a hindrance to my goals!!
bakit kaya ako ganito ngayon??!!!
i'm jealous of some of my friends!! they were able to get high grades!!!
hindi naman sa pagmamayabang o pangiinsulto... (i'm not giving names.. it's general) bkit nung ibang kakilala ko ng highschool eh di nman ganun kagaling sa academics... bkit ngayon eh parang ang gagaling na nila... hindi lng parang.. totoong magagaling na!!
they are improving!! but me..?? i don't know what the hell is happening to me??!! imbis cguro mag-improved ako o magkaroon ng progress eh lalo pa ata akong nagiging bobo o tanga!! ano ba yan!!!??
what's wrong with me??!!!!
minsan nga naisip ko pang sana mamatay na ako eh...
hay... hell!!! my life now is a hell!!!!
ganito ako hangga't hindi ko alam ang grades ko!!!??
i don't want to fail!!!
i want to passed!! i want o be given another chance to start again!!! to improved myself!! to keep myself focused on my academics!!!